Hello there. The following is an incomplete list of Domestic Violence shelters for Queer and Trans* People of Color in all 50 United States. This list will also contain reading resources with tools for addressing abuse and domestic violence in queer communities.
I always know more about people than I let them know about me… But it’s my own fault for being a hetero sex-practicing groundhog
Discovering sex was like discovering writing. It was powerful in a way couldn’t explain. Like writing, you had to go beyond the guilt and shame to get to anything good. Like writing, it could take you to deep and mysterious subterranean levels. With each new depth I found out things about myself I didn’t know I knew. And, like writing, for a slip of a moment it could be spiritual, the cosmos pivoting on a pin, could empty and fill you all at once like a Ganges, a Piazzolla tango, a tulip bending in the wind. I was no one, I was nothing, and I was everything in the universe little and large—twig, cloud, sky. How had this incredible energy been denied me!
Here’s a lovelorn song about being a weirdo always in love. Shoutout to my new cropped turtleneck.
fiona apple - never is a promise
I’ve been thinking a lot about how I can never really trust or open up to people who’ve never endured deep trauma. I used to think of it as this fatal flaw I had, a lifelong sentence to carry my baggage and be a difficult, shit girlfriend forever. But now I think it’s a valid expectation that just makes me feel safer. You can say you understand, you’ll never understand.
If you’ve never mopped floors at 4 a.m. at work you’re missing a devastating soul searching opportunity
my grandmother and my mother always used to say “well excuse me for living,” exact meaning of phrase yet unclear
girls night at work we watched temptation: confessions of a marriage counselor bc relevant to our lives…. but like the woman who cheated on her neglectful husband with an abusive man ends up with HIV, another abused woman gets HIV…. but then the neglectful husband gets off scot-free and gets a new wife and kids, srsly… TP movies start out good but end with the most fucked fable, like HIV is a “punishment” wtf
fuck tyler perry sometimes I’m sorry but omfg stop punishing women for living
bun didn’t actually fall asleep!! bunnies flop over like this when they feel safe and comfortable in their environment. they rarely stretch out and lay down because they’re prey animals, so when ur bun does completely lays on their side or their back, it means they feel 10000% safe around you
What are the signs of emotional abuse? @Anonymous
Abusive Expectations - Makes impossible demands, requires constant attention, and constantly criticizes.
Aggressing - Name calling, accusing, blames, threatens or gives orders, and often disguised as a judgmental “I know best” or “helping” attitude.
Constant Chaos - Deliberately starts arguments with you or others. May treat you well in front of others, but changes when you’re alone.
Rejecting - Refusing to acknowledge a person’s value, worth or presence. Communicating that he or she is useless or inferior or devaluing his or her thoughts and feelings.
Denying - Denies personal needs (especially when need is greatest) with the intent of causing hurt or as punishment. Uses silent treatment as punishment. Denies certain events happened or things that were said. Denies your perceptions, memory and sanity by disallowing any viewpoints other than their own which causes self-doubt, confusion, and loss of self-esteem.
Degrading - Any behavior that diminishes the identity, worth or dignity of the person such as: name-calling, mocking, teasing, insulting, ridiculing,
Emotional Blackmail - Uses guilt, compassion, or fear to get what he or she wants.
Terrorizing - Inducing intense fear or terror in a person, by threats or coercion.
Invalidation - Attempts to distort your perception of the world by refusing to acknowledge your personal reality. Says that your emotions and perceptions aren’t real and shouldn’t be trusted.
Isolating - Reducing or restricting freedom and normal contact with others.
Corrupting - Convincing a person to accept and engage in illegal activities.
Exploiting - Using a person for advantage or profit.
Minimizing - A less extreme form of denial that trivializes something you’ve expressed as unimportant or inconsequential.
Unpredictable Responses - Gets angry and upset in a situation that would normally not warrant a response. You walk around on eggshells to avoid any unnecessary drama over innocent comments you make. Drastic mood swings and outbursts.
Gaslighting -A form of psychological abuse involving the manipulation of situations or events that cause a person to be confused or to doubt his perceptions and memories. Gaslighting causes victims to constantly second-guess themselves and wonder if they’re losing their minds.